I think I’m going to need happy pills after saying goodbye!
well it’s over. I left this morning, I was the 1st one to leave. I didn’t want to say goodbye because sometimes it’s just better that way. This has been such an amazing experience. I’m torn, because I’m ready to be home and have a break, yet leaving these people breaks my heart. I’ve learned so much from everyone I am definitely coming home a changed person.
Nathan and I were talking on Monday night about expectations, and how before we left everyone kept telling us, “you’ll have so much fun” “this is the trip of a lifetime” and it has been all those things, but the last thing we wanted was to be let down. The last time I was in Europe I didn’t enjoy it while i was there, and I regreted that when I came home. I know that won’t be the case when I come home this time. I sat at the airport crying because I just left the most amazing group of people-
Leslie- 
one of the funniest people I’ve ever met in my life. Everyday she brings non-stop laughter to our group. Whether it’s her New York sass, or just the way she says Kellie’s name, Leslie has us on the floor laughing constantly- i occasionally pee my pants a little. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.
Kellie- I will miss Kellie’s facial expressions, she has so many of them. 
I will miss Kellie’s willingness to drink every waking moment of the day and her eagerness to get up and go to every museum in ever city we went to. But most of all I will miss her sincerity. Kellie always made sure everyone was in a good mood!
Stephanie- I will miss Stephanies crying everytime Nathan would Smoke. I will miss her Giant heart and her constant smile!
Yanel- Mama Yanel. 
I will miss every-time we walk into a restaurant and hearing her say ” do you accept credit cards?” I will miss her looking after all of us- all of the time. I will miss our late night talks and her listening to my marathon stories!
Nathan- I will miss little baby carlos! I will miss our talks, 
I will miss seeing his face light up when h talks about his cello, and when he saw a beach for the first time in Venice. I will miss the fact that he usually takes longer to get ready than 4 girls and the fact that he slept through almost every walking tour since rome- but then again, so did I! I will miss all the wine, beer and cigarettes we shared over the past 30 days.
I can’t believe it’s over. I tried not to put high expectations on my last day. I spent most it of it in the hotel packing and figuring out my flight info and how i was going to get to the airpot.
Leslie, Yanel, Stephanie, Kellie and Nathan went to get lunch and they all ended up getting their hair either done or cut. Nathan shaved- he looked so different! But everyone looked great for our farewell dinner. They came back around 330 and we slept until about 730 when we had about an hour to get ready for dinner. Dinner wasn’t what we thought. I think we all kind of wished we’d just gone out to our own dinner to be just us. but i guess it was nice to see everyone.
I ended up sick again and in some random hotel bathroom. We finally got back to the hotel at watched leslie pack for 3 hours. Kellie drank. I went up to nathan’s room and we stood on the balcony and talked. It was probably the best part of the day. I have too high of expectations for things and I always seem to get let down. But i didn’t really have any expectations for this. i just never wanted the night to end.
It felt like graduation all over again. Traveling with people is one of the hardest things to do, especially with strangers. these people barley know me, and to eat, sleep and deal with me 24/7 is crazy. we’ve been through, laughs, cries, fights-everything. and we’ve made it out alive and maybe even a little better for it!
I’ve learned more from these people in 30 days, than I have in most of my life. They taught me about myself and helped me realize how much fun you can have if you let loose and stop caring about what other people think. I seriously have no idea what i’m going to do without them.
This was an experience of a lifetime. I wish it never would end. But it’s just a moment of change. 
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